Mudshark1, you said you were in an emotionally difficult state when you met and married your current wife due to your divorce, your mother's death, and the other things you mentioned. From what you've said, it looks like the results of that were not good.

The emotional state that, based on your description, you seem to be in now, sounds like it could be described as somewhat extreme (frustrated, like a damaged ship at sea struggling to stay afloat, etc.) Based on your prior experience, and speaking from my own experience, I think it is safe to say that any involvement you get into while you're this state will be very likely to produce results that you will not be satisfied with in the long run.

If you want to attract someone you can be happy with in the long run, you need to have, within yourself, the qualities that you would like to encounter in another. With the state you're in right now, there's a pretty good chance that you will attract only emotionally needy people, and it doesn't sound like that's what you really want to end up with.