To: Lane, Fielding, Patterson & Swan, Layabouts for Hire: Central and Canadian Divisions

From: West Coast Division

Re: Candidates for Partnership

Don't sell brother Finn short. He has mastered the art of appearing to be industrious, while doing damn all. Like cold fusion, he appears to work. Oh sure, it looks like he wrote the story five times.....that's what he wants you to think. It's like that getting up at 5:30 in the morning nonsense. Sure he does. Makes sure you're awake, then while you're stuporous for the next three hours,he's stacking ZZZZ's elsewhere until it's time for him to bound into the room refreshed, acting as though you just haven't been able to keep up with his level of industry. Crazy like a fox. This man has layabout down. He could sleep through walls.

Chanteyranger-san, on the other hand is pure, old fashioned useless. This man is banana slug, scared of the salt shaker, lazy. Hell, he's had the same fiddle bow for forty years, and never had it re-haired. A poster child for slow motion.

We may have to add to the letterhead.

E.S.