Cobblers. The song is a parody of my original entitled *Fields Of Wheat & Rye*

WHEAT & RYE
(Dead Horse)

By a broken down stone wall, I heard an old girl calling
Albert, they have taken you away
Since the sheep they have all gone, through the post came lots of porn
And the Council Tax you did refuse to pay

Low lie the fields of wheat & rye
Where once we shot small birds up on high
We shot them as they flew, then we put them into a stew
Or else we ate them in a crusty pie

Near a smelly old pig sty, I heard a farm hand crying
Nothing matters Mavis, when you're pissed
The cows have got B.S.E. I've spent the grant from the E.E.C.
And the farmers got his knickers in a twist

Down by the five bar gate, I heard the farmer stating
Albert, I will break your ruddy neck
The cows have all got out, and the milkmaids up the spout
You've turned my brand new tractor into a wreck

Beside the old dung heap, I saw the policemen creeping
They were searching for my stash I'd hid nearby
Sniffer dogs were on my trail, I'd soon be heading for jail
It's so lonely hiding in the fields of wheat & rye

Low lie the fields of wheat & rye
Where once we shot small birds up on high
We shot them as they flew, then we put them into a stew
Or else we ate them in a crusty pie

I would sue, but I can't afford a lawyer!!!