Gee, it's been three months since I promised to get these lyrics posted. Sorry it took so long. Just got involved in living life to its fullest. This really is a fun song. Our audiences love it.

AIN'T IT A BEAUTY
(As performed by Cahir O'Doherty; author unknown)

There aren't many men as lucky as me to have one as big as mine.
I've used it all of me lifetime, and still it's doing fine.
Sometimes I think to myself, it's going on the blink.
But after careful scrutiny, it proved to be in the pink.

I always treat it carefully, never leave it hanging about.
And every time I use it, I remember to shake it out.
And sometimes when I use it, I hold it in the air.
I've instructed me wife to handle it with tender loving care.

CHORUS: O-o-oh, ain't it a beauty! I have used it proudly all me life (all me life).
Oh, ain't it a beauty! And if you don't believe me, ask me wife.

Danny O'Toole came over one day. He couldn't believe what he heard:
That mine was bigger than his was. He didn't believe a word.
I bet him a pound, I took him outside, and laid it on the street.
He couldn't believe his eyes. It was nearly a hundred feet.

Last summer while I was out of work, to idle away the hours,
I used it in the neighborhood to water the neighbors' flowers.
A wee girl said she needed it bad. Could she have it for a week?
And though abused daily, it never sprang a leak. CHORUS

I've used it in the summer. I've used it in the fall.
It's just around the springtime I use it most of all.
I've used in December on a cold and wintry day.
I wrote me name in a snow bank half a block away.

ALT. CHORUS:
O-o-oh, ain't it a beauty! All the fellas envy my technique (it's unique).
Oh, ain't it a beauty! They get jealous every time they take a peek.

I must admit it hasn't been used in three or four days or more,
But it's hanging there and it's ready as it ever was before.
If the good Lord's willing, I'll be using it for years,
'Cause it's the best length of garden hose was ever sold by Sears. CHORUS