Back in November of 99, a thread http://mudcat.org/thread.CFM?threadID=15135 was created requesting additional lyrics to this song. Combining those few and these we have the most complete version on the net…..(for twenty-eight minutes until "the bots" grab this and add it to their page.)

((Which is VERY good…nice bots, good boys, here take a byte.))

IF I WERE THE MARRYING KIND

CHORUS:
If I were the marrying kind,
I thank the lord I'm not sir,
The kind of man that I would be. . .

WOULD BE RUGBY FULL-BACK
I'd find touch, she'd find touch.
We'd both find touch together,
We'd be all right in the middle on the night,
Finding touch together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY HOOKER.
I'd strike hard, she'd strike hard,
We'd both strike hard together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Striking hard together.

WOULD BE A CENTER THREE-QUARTER.
I'd pass out, she'd pass out,
We'd both pass out together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Passing it out together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY REFEREE'S WHISTLE
I'd blow hard, she'd blow hard,
We'd both blow hard together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Blowing hard together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY PROP-FORWARD
I'd bind tight, she'd bind tight,
We'd both bind tight together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Binding tight together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY FLY HALF
I'd whip it out, she'd whip it out,
We'd all whip it out together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Be whipping it out together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY SCRUM HALF
I'd put it in, she'd put it in,
We'd all put it in together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Putting it in together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY SCRUM ORANGE
I'd get sucked, she'd get sucked,
We'd all get sucked together,
|We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Getting sucked together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY SPECTATOR.
I'd come again, she'd come again,
We'd all come again together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Coming again together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY SECOND ROW.
I'd push hard, she'd push hard,
We'd both push hard together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Pushing hard together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY GROUNDSKEEPER NUMBER ONE.
I'd trim bush, she'd trim bush,
We'd all trim bush together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Trimming bush together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY GROUNDSKEEPER NUMBER TWO
I'd fill holes, she'd fill holes,
We'd all fill holes together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Filling holes together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY TICKET TAKER
I'd punch holes, she'd punch holes,
We'd all punch holes together
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Punching holes together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY SPECTATOR IN THE RAIN.
I'd wear rubbers, she'd wear rubbers,
We'd all wear rubbers together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Wearing rubbers together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY NUMBER EIGHT MAN
I'd sniff ass, she'd sniff ass,
We'd all sniff ass together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Sniffing ass together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY GOAL POST
I'd stand erect, she'd stand erect,
We'd all stand erect together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Stand Erect together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY TOUCH LINE.
I'd get laid, she'd get laid,
We'd all get laid together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Getting laid together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY PARTIER.
I'd keep it up, she'd keep it up,
We'd all keep it up together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Keeping it up together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY WING NUMBER ONE.
I'd get nothing, she'd get nothing,
We'd all get nothing together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Getting nothing together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY FULLBACK NUMBER TWO.
I'd kick balls, she'd kick balls,
We'd all kick balls together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Kicking balls together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY WIND NUMBER TWO.
I'd drop balls, she'd drop balls,
We'd all drop balls together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Dropping balls together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY CLEAT.
I'd come in a box, she'd come in a box,
We'd all come in a box together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Coming in a box, together.

WOULD BE A SCRUM HALF'S DAUGHTER
Then she'd put it in, and I'd put it in,
We'd both put it in together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Putting it in together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY THREE QUATER
I'd be going hard and she'd be going hard
We'd all be going hard together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Going hard together.

WOULD BE A RUGBY PROP SIR
I'd support a hook and she'd support a hooker
We'd all support a hooker together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Supporting a hooker.

WOULD BE A RUGBY BALL SIR
I'd get pumped and she'd get pumped
We'd all get pumped together,
We'd be all righ in the middle of the night
Getting pumped sir.

v