GUEST, please do go and moan to your friends - that is what friends are there for. If they are real friends they will be there for you in the bad times as well as the good, and maybe one day you will be able to support them when they need you. In the meantime do seriously consider what Morticia has said. Even if prescripion drugs are not the answer to your problem they may at least help you to start to climb your way out of the "bad place" in which you find yourself, Many good doctors may refer you to a counselling service which can help. However don't worry about "losing it"; many of us here have been there as well, and while some may still be scarred by the experience, in my case I learned a lot about myself, and much more importantly, I found out how deeply my family and friends cared about me.