Mmm some valiant attempts here, and I am amazed the thread has lasted this long.

Rick, you were doing sooo well ........perseverance, that's what it is all about.

Alex, I have to correct your fallacious statement that kilts fasten with safety pins. The kilt doesn't fasten at all, making it faster still for the kind of special operations which we are sometimes called upon to perform while roaming the heather. The kilt-pin (which can sometimes resemble a large safety pin ), is inserted in the outer layer of the kilt, and does not fasten the garment in the way one might expect.

Wolfgang, I can see now why none of the new wave of comedians list "Statistics Monthly" among their big influences .......... But as a result of your post I am going to suggest to President Bush that airlines issue a bomb to each and every passenger as they board. That should render the probability of an unauthorized bomb to somewhere near zero.

And I agree that Gary T's version was funny. And, I think it probably is a politically correct joke, recent events notwithstanding.

Murray