On the front of the card: A picture of an annoyed looking Santa with brown colored smears and blotches all over his clothes and face, talking to Mrs. Claus. Inside the card: "Damn it woman! I asked you to put those friggin' reindeer on a high-fiber diet."

On the front: A bunch of barefoot shepherds sitting around a washtub outdoors under a starry sky, scrubbing their stockings on washboards. Verse inside: "While Shepherds Washed Their Socks by Night All Seated on the Ground..."