Did you ever get so weary of hearing Christmas songs perpetually playing in stores no matter where you go? I can remember a time when they didn't start until maybe a couple weeks before Christmas, at the earliest. Now they start before Holloween in some places.

Please pardon the length of this post. I wrote this as a tactful protest to the HQ of the retail chain I work for, and it really caught on among the staff at my store. Just wanted to share it on this forum. Happy Hols.


'Twas a month before Christmas and all through the store,
"Festive" tunes began playing; they'd soon be a bore.
They were pleasant at first, as they are every year,
Their initial effect was light-hearted good cheer.
But over and over, they get so mundane,
I'm afraid before long I'll be going insane!
Essentially captive while I'm on the clock,
I've no choice but to listen to Jingle Bell Rock,
Silver Bells, Sleigh Ride, and then We Three Kings,
And all of the others that EVERYONE sings.
Once in a while, this music is fine,
But for cryin' out loud! Pa-leeeze! Draw a line!

Now, I love those old melodies, don't get me wrong;
White Christmas by Bing is a wonderful song.
But if I keep hearing it ten times an hour,
Surely, come Christmas, my mood will be sour!
By the time Christmas gets here, it won't be a thrill.
I'll be so fed up, I'll be ready to kill!
And it's not only me who might go 'round the bend.
Even the shoppers get sick of the trend.
I heard one guy shout as he sped toward the door,
"I can't stand it! I gotta get outta this store!
This is drivin' me crazy! It should be a crime!
I can't bear to hear Deck the Halls one more time!"

It wouldn't annoy me to such an extent
If these songs were played for the purpose they're meant.
But I know the real intention behind
The premature playing of songs of this kind.
It has nothing to do with the true Christmas gist.
'Tis to keep shoppers' minds on their gift shopping list.
Yes, this music is played for hours on end
As sublime stimulation for shoppers to spend.
And it starts ever sooner as each year goes by.
Pretty soon, we'll be hearing these songs in July!
'Tis already driving some shoppers away,
And the Hell of it is, corporate thinks it's OK!

Now, that very notion is what's so unfair.
They're spoiling my Christmas, and they have not a care.
Enough is enough is enough is ENOUGH!
I am bloody well tired of this holiday stuff!
I dream of these songs when I'm snug in my bed;
And coming to work is something I dread!
I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge or a grouch,
But I fear I'll end up on some head doctor's couch.
This repetitive music is making me sick,
As it would anyone, even good old Saint Nick!
And knowing the fact that I am not alone
Is what really inspires me to pick at this bone.

On behalf of employees in stores o'er the land,
I implore ye in management, please understand.
To force these songs on us with nothing between
Is cruel and thoughtless and just downright mean.
Nothing but Christmas songs day out, day in
Causes seasonal burnout, I'll say it again.
For the sake of our sanity, please hear our plea.
All we want is a little more VARIETY!!!
Put some non-Christmas songs in the mix that you play.
You'd find this small gesture would go a long way
Toward salvaging some of the spirit and cheer
We're entitled to feel when our Christmas gets here.