Rebecca/Celtic Bard, another thing to keep in mind is that forgetting is sometimes only a temporary coping mechanism. For our bodies and minds and souls not to get out of balance with grief and so that they do not fall ill from it, we are given a respite of sorts, if even for a moment, our minds are on something else besides the very sad loss.
I like the flower analogy. As long as Tom is in your heart, you will always remember him.
At a candlelight vigil when Mathew Shephard was kill here in Wyoming, we sang a beautiful song with these words:
Listen, listen, listen to my heart song
I will never forsake you, I will never forget you
It was a simple thing, but significant for all who were there. I hope it can be of some help.
Rebecca/Deda, beautiful poem, thanks for sharing it!
Wherever Tom is, I am sure he knows how much you love him. It sounds as though you had a beautiful connection.
If you need someone to talk to, please send me a PM for my phone number. It's part of what I do...listening and trying to help.:-)