Dear Deda,

I'm so happy that your Golden Cow Chip will be hung (and well hung too, I'm sure!) in such a place of honour. However, you need to turn it over and read the label on the bottom:

Warning: Excessive polishing of Golden Cow Chips can be extremely satisfying, but extremely addictive. Directions for Use: Collect obsessively and let your imagination run wild!!! Not for use by the faint of heart or narrow of mind.

-- She Who Wears The Garrulous Garlic G-String ;-)