I've been waiting for these but they never arrived, so:

A dirty old bishop from Birmingham Seduced young girls while confirming 'em As he sung 'nunc dimittis' He fondled their titties And ejected episcopal sperm in 'em.

Up spoke an old lady of Kew Who said 'Bishop, is that really true? I've heard that the vicar Is quicker, and thicker, And stronger, and longer than you...'

Not at this year's carol concert, I fear. - ian B