'Twas the Tavern at Christmas, and all through the place
The Catters drank full, a grin on each face
The Jello pit filled by the Skiffler with care,
In hopes that some wrestlers soon would be there.
The pool sharks were gathering balls for the rack,
While a saggy old Christmas tree hung out in back.
While kat in her full skirt, and a fifer in green,
Filled the tavern with beauty of a kind seldom seen.
When out in the parking lot there arose such a sound
Even the monkey gave a scared look around
Walking with caution, ol'Red crossed the floor
Grabbed tight the handle and threw open the door
The pissant and possum, on the new fallen snow
Left a big yellow puddle on all things below
Just when they thought good St Nick would appear
The taverners saw that there were no reindeer
Just a pile of tired pallets tied in to a sled
And a clacking ol'Spaw, all done up in red
The branched-antlered reindeer hung their heads in their shame
As SantaSpaw cursed them and called them by name
"Hey Pissant, Dammit Cletus, Aw Reg, Fockin' Cleigh,
Buford, Paw, and two Regs, get the fock out my way!
There's cheer to be spread and I know what to do,
Sweet merciful *%!!, what's this crap on my shoe?"
Every jaw in the tavern now lay on the floor
(Not the safest of places, knowing what's been there before)
And when Spaw sprang to his sleigh, and drove his team with a curse
Red thought to herself, "It could be a lot worse..."
But she muttered aloud, in a voice filled with awe
"Another rare beauty there, Thanks, SantaSpaw!"