There was a young fellow called Munchez,
Whose Language was mostly atrunchez,
All he could say,
Through the whole live-long day
Was, "Yez baastards! Yez fuckers! Yez cunchez!"

There was a young vampire called Mabel,
Whose periods were very unstable,
One night at full moon,
She went down with a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.

There was a young lass from the Azores,
Whose cunt was al festered with sores,
The dogs in the street
Used to eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers.

OK, Spaw, you're up!

Seamus