To the tune of "Dick Darby, The Cobbler" as sung by, amongst others, Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers.

MARTIN A, THE GOBBLER

Oh me name's Martin A, I'm a gobbler
I live in the town of Spokane
I strut around like I am Tarzan
But I'm pining away for a Jane

CHORUS:
With me ing-twing-of-an-ing-thing-of-an-eye-doh
With me ing-twing-of-an-ing-thing-of-an-eye-ay
With me ro-bo-bo-ro-bo-bo-randy
And me wattle keeps flapping away

When I was a healthy young buck-o
They called me the cock of the walk
My thighs were the size of an ostrich
And my eyes were as bright as a hawk

CHORUS

The hens all around me were flocking
They'd coo and they'd cluck and they'd preen
But now that I'm wizened and rangy
The hens are nowhere to be seen

CHORUS

I set off in search of a partner
I set off in search of a mate
Through scrub and bush, hither and yonder
I wandered all over the state

CHORUS
At last I'm resolved to give over
From the dating game I shall retire
Like nun or some other monastic
Unmated until I expire

CHORUS

Surrounded by death and corruption
In a palace of grief and decay
In quiet retreat I shall linger
Until at length I pass away

CHORUS