THE LOBSTER

CHORUS:
Singing ho tiddly ho
Shit or bust!
Never let your bullocks
Dangle in the dust!

Good morning Mister Fisherman,
Good morning Sir, said he;
Have you a lobster
You can sell to me?

Yes, Sir said the Fisherman
I have two;
The biggest of the bastards
I will give to you.

I took the lobster home
And I couldn't find a dish,
So I put it in the pot
Where the Missus has a piss.

In the middle of the night
The wife got out of bed;
She piddle' in the pot
Right on the lobster's head.

The Missus gave a giggle
The wife gave a grunt;
A dirty big lobster,
Hanging from here cunt.

The wife grabbed the shovel,
And I grabbed the broom,
We chased that fucking lobster
Round and round the room.

We hit it in the head,
We hit it on the side;
We hit that fucking lobster,
Till the bastard died.

The moral of this story,
The moral, it is this,
Always have a look-see
Before you take a piss.