Dame Spaw:
You've sold the cow - Oh dreadful day.
Now the rent we cannot pay.
We'll be thrown out in the gutter
Zip, you really are a nutter.

Zip:
But mother, these maggots, I've been told
are surely worth their weight in gold.
They're singing maggots - listen here,
They sing in harmony so clear.

(The Maggots sing - to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star):
Magic Maggots, fiddlesticks,
Now we're in a frightful fix,
We've had enough of Max's tricks,
He thinks that you're all lunatics
Nothing more than rural hicks,
Living out here in the sticks.
It's enough to make us sick -
So Max, it's time you got your kicks.

(Enter large policeman) PC Plod Shambles:
Hullo, Hullo, Hullo - this is very serious indeed. Singing in a public place. Show me your Public Entertaiment Licence, or off to gaol you all must come with me right now.

Dame Spaw:
Pubic Entertainment Licence? - I've got one of them all right. You've all heard of the Rubic Cube - well this is the Pubic Rube...It's the latest sensation.