My husband was a bah-humbugger over xmas as well, and furthermore, disliked feeling "obligated" by any holiday to have to do the whole gift thing, on demand, so to speak. I, on the other hand, love xmas, love giving and getting gifts, the whole 9 yards. It took us a while but we finally worked it out that I did my thing, put up a tree, decorated, got him a gift, but only if and when I found something really meaningful to him, no matter how large or small. And in return he got to do his thing....nothing. As it turned out, eventually, not feeling obligated to do anything allowed him to come to really enjoy the tree and, if timing and opportunity presented itself, to even get me something too that I really wanted. No pressure on either side helped us both to have what we wanted.

Work it out. It sounds like you have a loving and caring relationship with each other...in terms of priorities far more important than the details of how a holiday is celebrated. Might help you both to know why you feel the way you do (and why she feels the way SHE does!). Good luck...and Happy Winter Solstice!

Nancy