Here's the tune for you. Also as the words of the version on the LP Jeremy Taylor - His Songs (1968) are slightly different from those above (and also from the version in the earlier thread Red Velvet Steering Wheel Cover Driver) I append a transcription of the words from that.

Mick

I re-/mem-ber the/ time, I was/ dri-ving a-/long
On the/ Li-ver-pool/ high-way/ sing-ing a/ song
And the/ day was as/ good as the/ road it was/ long
I was/ on/ my/ way-/
And / then up a-/head, a /black speck a-/ppeared
And/ as I drew/ near, it was / just what I/ feared
Do-ing/ twen-ty-five/ miles an/ hour in top /gear
In the/ out-/side/ lane-/
Oh, dear/ me-/, Glo-ry/ be-/
One of/ them/ I could/ see/
It was a/ red/-vel-vet/ steer-ing wheel/ co-ver/ dri-/i-/-ver

Chorus: La la/ la-/ la la/ la la-/ l a la/ la /la la la/ la//

X: 1
T:Red Velvet Steering Wheel Cover Driver
M:3/4
L:1/4
Q:1/4=180
C:Jeremy Taylor
K:D
F G| A A A| A A A| A A A| A2
G/ F/| G< G G| G2 G| G G G| G2
D/ E/| F F F| F z D/ E/| F A G| F
E D | E3| D3| C3-| C2
F| A A A| A2 F| A A A| A< G
F| G G G| G z E/ F/| G d B| A2
D/ E/|F F F|F z F| F A G| F
E D| E3| D3| C3-| C
D C| B,3-| B, E D| C3-| C
F E| D3| G2 F| E3|
E F E| D3| d2 B| A F E| D2 B,| D3| E3| D3-| D||
%Chorus:
F G| A3-| A G F| E D2-| D E F| G3| F E D| E3-| E||

---

RED VELVET STEERING WHEEL COVER DRIVER (Jeremy Taylor)

I remember the time I was driving along
On the Liverpool highway singing a song
And the day was as good as the road it was long
I was on my way
And then up ahead a black speck appeared
And as I drew near it was just as I feared
Doing twenty-five miles an hour in top gear
In the outside lane
Oh dear me, Glory be
One of them I could see
It was a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.

He and his wife they sat side by side
In their safety belts they were safely tied
And together they drove through the green countryside
Which they did not see.
They had two dingle-dangles that hung by a string
From the mirror and on the back seat was a thing
That wobbled its head up and down
With a singular stare at me.
Up and down, side to side
Keep your eyes open wide
For the red velvet steering wheel cover driver.

Chorus: La la la-. la la la la-. la la la-. la la la la-.


He's got three china ducks on his living room wall
And a bowl of pink plastic flowers in the hall
And a souvenir ashtray he bought in Porthcawl
On his holiday.
And when he gets home he'll go straight to his chair
Switch on the telly and all night he'll stare
At the girls and the gunfights and wish he was there
But he's here to stay.
When he regrets what he didn't see
Then he'll switch to I.T.V.
Cos he's a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.
Chorus x2

Each Monday morning he takes his basket
To town, he goes to the supermarket
He walks up and down, thinks "Oh what a task,
It's so hard to choose".
Cos there's apple sponge pudding all topped with tasty freeze,
Ready cut loaves, instant cake mix, and frozen peas,
All of those fifty-seven varieties
Fresh today.
Hermetically sealed, untouched by human hand,
So easy just heat the tin, think of all the gifs you can win
If you're a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.
Chorus x2

Well it's Saturday night it's the night for a fling
So let's on with our glad-rags and ring-a-ding-ding-O
We're down to the hall for a good game of bingo
And cups of tea.
Then we're back home to bed and switch off the light
Hug our hot water bottle, "Sweet dreams and goodnight,
And God keep us from things that go bump in the night
And especially
All those dreams of the day
When our own children will say
My dad's a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.

Chorus x4 (fade)