Well, if I can have Kendall sing Ashes on the Sea for me, then I want to be cremated. Actually, I don't care - I think the decision should be left to those I leave behind. I'll be dead, so I don't see how it would make a difference to me.

I had two good friends die this last year. Dick, a retired Air Force officer, died unexpectedly. He was in perfect health wehen I last saw him on Sunday morning, and we laid him in the grave on Saturday. He had a traditional funeral with a 21-gun salute, and then we watched as his coffin was lowered into the grave. As we left, we each threw a handful of dirt onto the coffin. Other times, I've seen people drop flowers onto the coffin.

Jim and I were best of friends. His journey to death lasted from September to April, and I spent a lot of time with him while he was ill. A month before he died, he suggested that his wife and I would make a wonderful couple. I think so, too - we're getting married January 12. Jim was cremated. We left a bit of him in the garden he built, and his wife and children scattered the rest of his ashes at his favorite place on the shores of the Pacific.

Both of these men lived good lives, and many friends gathered to sing for them and to say goodbye. Their funeral services were fitting tributes, and both the burial and the scattering of ashes were fitting ways to say goodbye. I'm glad I was asked to sing for them.

As for me, I don't care what they do after I'm dead. Just don't give me the 21-gun salute. Hurts my ears.

-Joe Offer-