I keep thinking I want to have a try at this - then I read the entries - and realize I ain't gonna compete against these entries. (I know - it's not a "competition")

Just bums sitting on the copier
While we drink some Christmas grog
It's Yule-tide; Carol's being chaste by the fire
And on the sofa, someone's NOT!

Everybody knows the turkey from the payroll staff
Will pass out, whoops there he goes!
Prop him up, hang some lights on his nose
and take some candid photo-graphs!

we know the boss is on his way
Enjoy the party or you will not get your pay
And every silly joke, he bleedin' tells is sure to make some jackass bray!

And so I'm offering this simple plea
for applicants to Virgin Mo...
If you wannna work where this stuff's goin' on
You're Crazy!
Yes, You''re crazy!
Very Crazy. yessir!