I don't know if you've already awarded the prizes yet. (I don't want to read other folks' entries until I've finished my concoctions.) At any rate, here's one of my angles on the story.

Sonja

Oh, What A Wild Office Party
Words:  Sonja W. Oates  © 2001
(With sincere apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein)

There's a big, hairy butt on the Mita.
(Everyone)
There's a big, hairy butt on the Mita.
The porn is as high as a elephant's thigh
And Marketing's going all out for the prize.

Oh, what a wild office party
Oh, what a wild bunch of nudes!
I got a terrible feeling
Somebody's gonna get sued!

Margarita from Human Resources
(Everyone)
Margarita from Human Resources
Plying those potions that share her sweet name
Was posed in a manner to put us to shame!

Oh, what a wild office party
Oh, what a wild bunch of nudes!
I got a terrible feeling
Somebody's gonna get sued!

Old Joe, Senior V. P. of Finance
(Everyone)
Old Joe, Senior V. P. of Finance
Attacked Maggie Jones after 5 shots of scotch--
Now, he's on the copier faxing his crotch!

Oh, what a wild office party
Oh, what a wild bunch of nudes!
I got a terrible feeling
Somebody's gonna get sued!

All the sounds of the office are raucous!
(Everyone)
All the sounds of the office are raucous!
The copier's so smudged with those short hairs and fluids
Some faxes do not even look like they're "nuids."

Oh, what a wild office party
Oh, what a wild bunch of nudes!
I got a terrible feeling
Somebody's gonna get sued!

Well, it seemed like a clever promotion!
(Everyone)
Well, it seemed like a clever promotion!
What fun you could have with a "Virgin" this year
Sending your mates those close-ups of your rear!

Oh, what a wild office party
Oh, what a wild bunch of nudes!
I got a terrible feeling
Somebody's gonna get sued!

All the staffers are are breaking  state statutes.
(Everyone)
All the staffers are are breaking  state statutes.
Our lawyers  scream, "Hey, what if you break that glass
And end up with toner and shards up your *ss?!"

Oh, they are such party poopers!
Oh, what a stiff bunch of prudes!
Always in dark apprehension
The "Virgin" is gonna get sued!

Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted!
(Everyone)
Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted!
At least now our staff photo album's complete
With eight-by-ten copies of everyone's seat!

It was a wild office party
We were a wild bunch of nudes!
Till "Legal" went right through the ceiling:
"You break that glass, we'll be sued!"
The "Virgin" is gonna be screwed!