Genie and I gotta get these done so we can read the other entries! (I'll admit, I've read a couple of Derrymasch's, and they're hilarious!)
HE CAME UPON THE XEROX CLEAR
W: Sonja W. Oates © 2001
M: It Came Upon the Midnight Clear (Richard Stores. Willis, 1851)
He came upon the Xerox clear, that curious old CEO.
From angles pressing where he perched to touch his parts--Oh Ho!!!!.
"Piss on the mirth, good Mobile men!
Good Heavens, and gracious! This stinks!"
The lawyers in solemn stiffness say they'll bear no more such things!
Still thru the closet doors they come with private things unveiled;
And still these reveling jokers plop on said machine their tails.
Above its sagging and creaking glass they're bent on uncovering their cans,
And ever o'er the net they send their blasted bare-bottom scans.
For lo, Boss Branson is chast'ning us our profits to uphold,
And with our internet circling rears may come a ton of gold.
But the lawyers over all the mirth their dampened blankets fling,
And the whole staff give them the bird and listen to Liberty sing.
"The scanner 'neath its crushing load, those forms all bending it low,
May geld you if it should explode -- how painful that is, we know!
Look out, for greedy & golden hordes lurk slyly in the wings.
To arrest you," the lawyers do forebode, "and sue you for everything!"