Since Jack The Sailor one-upped me on my first entry (how dare he write a parody of the same song I chose and do it better than
I did??!), I gotta submit yet another.
Jolie All Saints' Melanie
Words: Genie © 2001
Tune: Jolly Old St. Nicholas
Jolie All Saints' Melanie scanned her rear this way.
(Some folks sell with jingle bells, Virgin with horseplay!)
Her Christmas ad is airing soon, and to boost our bottom line,
If you'll Xerox your derrière, I will fax you mine!
When the mood strikes everyone (chemically enhanced),
On the copier strong and clear we'll all drop our pants.
When all the shocking private parts are pictured in a row.
Sir Dick's will be the shortest one. (Don't ask me how I know.)
Johnny is a hairy ape; Susie's cheeks are red;
Jenny wants her picture took with her wings wide-spread.
As for me, that "morals clause," is sticking in my craw.
(Booze for me---perhaps applause?---might make me test that law.)
Lawyer grinches, sticks up ass, mean to bar our way.
"Why don't you stick to good, old-fashioned mistletoe?" they say.
The Christmas cleavage canceled now, quoth our VP, Stan:
"Come kiss me 'neath this mistletoe I hold above my can."