Mark, a parishioner of ours lost a teen son in a car accident. She continued much contact with him for a long time... I think it helped that her spirituality, based in a Greek Orthodox upbringing, allowed for and honors the mystical in everyday life. But we noticed, over time, that she was increasing her personal dependence on this contact, in ways that were limiting her corporeal contacts with people coming into her life. Her son had not reached the age of rebellion and separation and independence when he died, see? So she kinda got stuck in a place she'd never have been stuck, with him, if he had continued physical life in her household. And she had some work to do to let him go, in a different way, that was very hard for her. So I would be curious to know how this goes for you, over time... and about what Lani (or God) says to you about it. I'd be glad to hear from you about it, at Mudcat or via e-mail, anytime, if you want to talk about it.

~Susan