Well, here's an offering for the blessing of the Goddess in the forthcoming year.

I Sent My Sister to A Landfill

Tune: "I Didn't Know God Made Honkie-Tonk Angels" (Click to Play)

 

I never look at Xmas gifts too closely
I get so many of them, don't you know?
And if something in my stocking doesn't please me,
Right back to Sachs or Walmart it will go

Chorus:
 

I didn't mean to send my sister to a landfill
I don't hate her all that deeply anymore!
But the box you chose to hold her mortal ashes
Would have better suited someone who was poor!
 

Now I know my sister never would forgive me
'Cuz I chose the path of leisure and of wealth,
She cursed my for a compromising bourgeois
And went off to join with Sun Yung Moon, herself

Cho.

That was many years ago, when we were twenty,
And I went ahead and married Bubba Sam;
He's made millions building new homes for the Yuppies;
Sis just spits but that's the kind of girl I am!

Cho.

Now I love my triple-king size bed for sleeping.
And my deep pile woolen carpets on the floor.
I have fifteen kinds of jets in my Jacuzzi,
And everybody knows that I ain't poor.

Cho.

Little Sister though, she never made a penny,
And her marriage to the Moonies didn't work.
And she moved back in to Momma's house in Shallcross
On the whole she's really been a little jerk.

Cho.

When I sent that tacky pine thing back to Walmart,
You'll forgive me if I did not look within!
How was I to know you'd put her ashes in it?
Cuz it's not like having standards is a sin!

Cho:

Chorus:
 

I didn't mean to send my sister to a landfill
I don't hate her all that deeply anymore!
But the box you chose to hold her mortal ashes
Would have better suited someone who was poor!

Regards,

A