[IF I EVER CATCH OLD PERRY]

Well, if I ever, wo-, catch old Perry, I'll kick him in the ditch,
If I ever, wo-, catch old Perry, I'll kill that son of a bitch.
I'm going to chase him, said I'm going to chase him, yes I'll chase him,
Through my mind.

-- Eric von Schmidt

[BILL 'AWKINS]

"An' s'pose you met Bill 'Awkins,
Now what in the devil 'ud you do?"
"I'd open 'is cheek to 'is chin-strap buckle,
An' bung up his both eyes, too --
Gawd -- bless -- 'im!
An' bung up his both eyes, too!"

-- Rudyard Kipling