A parody of "Courtin' In The Kitchen"

Come single belle and beau
And to me pay attention
Don't ever fall in love
It's the devil's own invention
For once I fell in love
With a maiden so bewitching
The denouement thereof
Was screened on television
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

I met her in the woods
Out back of the Oasis
Her eyes shone like the sun
She had one of those faces
To melt a poor boy's heart
To drive him to distraction
Determined not to part
I spurred myself to action
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Good evening miss I said
Although I am a stranger
I wonder if you'd care
For an escort, case of danger
For I would hate to see
A maiden so delightful
Encounter any fate
That might be considered frightful
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Oh I will walk with you
You are possessed of char-am
I would welcome kindly
Protection from all har-am
I am, as you can see,
But lithe and slim and bonny
No match for any foe
Who might set his sights upon me
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

As night began to fall
I felt it getting chilly
To maintain a naked head
It really is quite silly
Please my fair young maid
My hat that has a bobble
I'll gladly lend to you
It causes me no trouble
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Why thank you for your gift
It is much appreciated
For your courtesy and kindness
You will soon be compensated
She took hold of my arm
And paced it round her waist, sir
And dragged me to the ground
With much indecent haste, sir
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

And so we soon undressed
But for the hat I loaned her
And as we did the deed
She sighed and screamed and moaned sir
And we were so enrapt
In our lustin' and our passion
We didn't realise
That the hotel nearby was watchin'
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Things came to a head
She scratched me with her claws, sir
When from the near hotel
We heard some wild applause, sir
The manager exclaimed
You gave my guests a treat, sir
And as a just reward
Please accept the bridal suite. Sir
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy