From what little I have been able to gather on the subject:

It takes the value of 243,769 average weight potatoes to purchase a lapdance in Iowa.

In the UK you can barter a lapdance for a gallon of gasoline.

That same gallon of gasoline can take you to where you can purchase a Gibson guitar for the purpose of dissection to see what's in it.

What you learn from that experiment will make for lively conversation at the fancy dress party.