Don't just stand there staring at the jello pit!

SING! Joe Offer's Kilt


Have ye heared the tale
The bonnie Scots telled
'Bout Ol' Joe Offer
And what's in his kilt?

If ye listen to me
I'll tell ye I will;
All that I've heared
'Bout Old Joe's kilt.

CHORUS
'Twas a big one he had.
Much larger than mine
And the bonnie lasses bragged
'Bout it all o' the time.

Once out on the lochs,
A storm took our sail,
But ol' Joe saved us all
With his kilt in the gale.

So we sailed into port
With his kilt in our rig,
And the crowds did exclaim
"My God, it is big!"

CHORUS

Once out on the high moors
In the snows we were lost.
With no hopes of shelter
To keep out the frost.

If not for ol' Angus
We'd 've died in the wind,
But a pavilion we had
When his kilt was unpinned.

CHORUS

Once o'er in the Holy Lands,
When we needed a flag,
But we could nae find naught
Save a dirty ol' rag.

But ol' Joe once more
Did he come to our aid.
When he unwound his kilt.
For our victory parade.

CHORUS

Once after a battle
We needed a shroud.
To bury not one,
But the whole clan MacLeod.

Ol' Joestepped forward
And said to the priest;
"Ye can have me kilt, sir,
To cover your deceased."

CHORUS

Once making some scotch
When we needed a sieve.
To strain through with whiskey
From Erin I believe.

Ol' Joe once more
Did he top all the rest.
When he took off his kilt,
And made that batch our best.