You know, I think I have made a couple of serious mistakes:

• I should never have taught Spaw how to make blue-clickies.
  
• I should never have spoken of my interest in lighthouses, tempting people to misinterpret it as a phallic obsession.
  
• I should never have visited Spaw in person and actually allowed him to see my bald spot....

I guess, though, that the idea of a stag party is to thoroughly embarrass the groom. You guys are doing a wonderful job of it.

Still, I kind of think I'd like to catch a glimpse of that Irish-Australian lady in the French maid costume.

-Joe Offer-