When I was young I had a great deal of trouble relating my non belief with general life - Should I sing hymns at school assembly, what about the girl guide promise and so forth - Ok I was a fairly intense teenager and I have had my comeupance and now spend my time telling my daughter to lighten up and its not the end of the world. Strangely, I don't remember having any problems with Christmas. Teenagers can be fairly selective in their intensity.

As I got older I managed to establish what I was and what way I wanted to live my life. I found I could sing hymns at weddings, funerals or Christenings as it was to make the event for my friends. Although I would never become a God Parent. I think as far as Christmas goes look at the bits that are important to you and your family. If it is important for the family (perhaps due to small children) then celebrate on the day, then celebrate on the day. If not do something else and choose your own celebration. If your family enjoys singing carols, sing carols for the sake of your family's enjoyment. Don't worry about the name of the day, its not the important part.

Personally, I enjoyed choosing the right present for the right person, a big family gathering on Christmas day and the fact the my niece can remember who I am from one day to the next now, my brother's playing competitive Twister and the look on my daughter's face when she unrapped the purple Doc Martins.

All the best

Julie