Why is it that every friggin' holiday of any sort, somebody has some objection or is offended even though they may want to participate.....sorta'. Don't answer, I know all the reasons. Let me propose this instead.

Now I realize that everyone might not recognize the 12 month calendar as a part of their culture, but international business uses it and we have to start somewhere. So.....We establish an International Holiday Registry!!! Every month has a number, 1-12, and you can send in the forms and register any day(s) in any month for anything you want to celebrate. Every Holiday has the SAME NAME followed by a number. We call them all and assign numbers by the month and number of request. Couldn't be simpler!

Let's say that the Christians get their forms in early for Whatevertafuck 12 and the traditional day is now known as Whatevertafuck 12-6. Maybe you don't want to celebrate any religious day or the solstice, but you want a holiday anyway......NO PROBLEMMO!!! Just send in the paperwork and now you can celebrate the day your Great Aunt Marge crashed her Packard and took out the loading dock at the Piggly-Wiggly which will be known as Whatevertafuck 12-261.

Just think of it.........Greeting cards can all have pleasant messages and pretty pictures with a "fill in the blank" section like "Have a Happy and Joyous Whatevertafuck 10-____." The stores can put up permanent banners with changeable numbers:

BIG WHATEVERTAFUCK ___ SALE!!!

ENJOY YOUR WHATEVERTAFUCK HOLIDAY

This is just the ticket and no one gets pissed and everyone is having a holiday celebration whenever they want for whatevertafuck reasons!

......geeziz.....gimmee peace...........

Spaw