Having committed myself to a Psychiatric Ward many years ago, I know what you are feelings, as many other Mudcatters do. One thing that amazed me when I came out after 17 days, was how many people I know have gone through depressions, and how many others realized that they had and regretted not getting any help. I think all the advice given here is good, and helpful. We each have our own stories to tell, but one thing that I'd encourage you doing is seek out those who can sincerely encourage you. I was in a situation where the closest person I could turn to was just trying to bring on my depression. One of the hardest things to do in life is to love yourself. There is this misunderstanding about loving yourself and being selfish. I think that the only way that you can become a loving, generous, outward-looking person is to love yourself, forgive yourself, and don't let ANYONE rub your nose in the past. It's beautiful to see the concern and love from Mudcatters. Most of us are cyber-friends... can't be there in person to throw an arm around your shoulder or sit up with you all night. I'e seen friends go into depressioon when it seemed to be the only mentally healthy thing to do. Sometimes, life IS depressing. But, you've ridden through a depression before, and you will do it again.
You don't mention a belief in God... if you have that, it gives a different dimension to the whole experience. That doesn't mean that you can't find your way back on your own, or through friends and counsellors. And, you've got a lot of friends here at Mudcat.
Count me in.
Jerry