THE COMING OF THE WEE MALKIES
(Stephen Mulrine)

Haw missis, whit'll ye dae when the wee Malkies come,
If they dreep doon affy the wash-hoose dyke,
An pit the hems oan the sterrheid light,
An play wee heidies oan the clean close wa,
Missis, whit'll ye dae?

Whit'll ye dae when the wee Malkies come,
If they chap yir door an choke yir drains,
An caw the feet fae yir sapsy weans,
An tummle thur wulkies through yir sheets,
An tim thur ahes oot in the street,
Missis, whit'll ye dae?

Whit'll ye dae when the wee Malkies come,
If they chuck thur screwtaps doon the pan,
An stick the heid oan the sanitry man,
When ye hear thum shauchlin doon yir loaby,
Chanting, "Wee Malkies! The gemme's a bogey!"
Haw, missis, whit'll ye dae?

[Recited by Adam McNaughtan on "Words, Words, Words" (which is reissued as a double CD, with "The Glasgow That I Used to Know," as "The Words That I Used to Know," Greentrax, 2000.]