Oh no, I hear you groan. The bollix has decided to move on to another Planxty album! 'Fraid so, folks …

A parody of "The Good Ship Kangaroo" as sung by Christy on "After The Break".

THE BAD SHIP KANGAROO
Once I was a naval man who sailed the stormy seas
Now I am a landlubber, a life that doesn't please
Cos I've always loved seafaring life and I'd love again to do
The rounding of the Horn aboard the Good Ship Kangaroo

CHORUS
I never thought she would prove false
Or either prove untrue
And I stepped on shore at Fleetwood
From the Good Ship Kangaroo

In search of drink and women I tried a dozen places
And ended up in Penrith at a joint called the Oasis
And there I met a pretty maid and offered her a jar
And then we had another in the basement cocktail bar
One thing lead to another, as I had hoped it might
She suggested that we go outside and I put up no fight
And in a woodland clearing we performed a timeless act
In that leafy glade we two made the beast that has two backs

CHORUS

But back in the Oasis, my darling disappeared
And left me on my ownsome, with a half-drained glass of beer
And I was taken prisoner as a squad of police descended
"Young sailor blokey, to the chokey! You've been apprehended."

CHORUS

In the days and weeks that followed a sorry tale emerged
They knew of a pornographic clique, it was high time for a purge
The members operated from a lengthy list of places
One of which was a hotel which goes by the name Oasis
And there this clique assembled, with some flimsy alibi
That they use closed circuit telly on badgers for to spy
But all the time they're watching with no little fascination
A string of naked couples in al fresco copulation

CHORUS

But what of the young female who lured me to my fate?
The law made no arrest of her I'm sorry to relate
For she was wise and well-prepared and knew the heat was on
Before the cops were on their way, me fine young blade was gone
And on the confiscated footage, my face was in plain view
But she was skilled in subterfuge and knew just what to do
As we undressed for action, that dirty little rat
Over her fair features, pulled down her bobble hat

CHORUS