A mischievous friend e-mailed me to ask if the well had any bottom. I took that to be a veiled reference to a request to start work on "The Well Below The Valley" or "The Woman I Loved So Well".

Sorry … the well does have a bottom … here are two final Planxty parodies … of "Cúnla" from "The Well Below The Valley" and "True Love Knows No Season" from "The Woman I Loved So Well".

Who is that there that's slashing the undergrowth (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS
Cúnla dear, don't come any nearer me (x3)
Maybe I will says Cúnla

Who is that there that's clearing a space for me (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who is that there that's rippin' the clothes off me (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who is that there that's wobblin'me tassel-o (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who is that there, all captured on video (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who is that there that's fled from security (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who in his haste, got caught on a barbed-wire fence (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who is that there, his wound all festerin' (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS

Who is that there, they're cutting his todger off (x3)
Only me says Cúnla

CHORUS


TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO REASON

Billy Gray was a bad man
Well known not to give a damn
He came from a townland
Near Lake Windermere
And Sarah was a bit naïve
(At least we local folks believed)
She wore her heart upon her sleeve
And was younger than her years

CHORUS
But true love knows no reason
And this is not the season
To peel off your kit
And get naked in the open air
Wear a wool-hat with a bobble
If you intend to dabble
In any sort of carry-on
That requires you getting' bare

Billy was a charmer
Though he didn't mean to harm 'er
He hoped to pierce the armour
Of her virginity
To the woods he led her
Planning for to thread her
And after he'd betrayed her
He'd flee the vicinity

CHORUS

But our Sarah was not so chaste
As was generally held to be the case
For carnal love she had a taste
As Billy was to find
And as he was nearing
Her standing in the clearing
He saw she was leering
He knew what was on her mind

CHORUS

Her appetite gigantic
Sarah was near frantic
The force of Sarah's antics
Made oul' Billy tired
So when security gave chase
Billy fell flat on his face
Too knackered to maintain the pace
That his escape required

CHORUS