Folks, I had no idea how far reaching this story has been. Last night, while slumping along in a Food Lion checkout line, I looked over at the taloid newspaper rack, and there it was, like a voice from God, "Clinton Charged as Dog Killer" in some rag called the "Globe". The picture shows Clinton and Buddy in happier times, and in the time it took to check out the customers in front of me, I frantically located and read the story that some members of Chappaqua animal rights group are claiming that Clinton should be fined for letting his dog loose on an unsuspecting public...

While I'm no admirer of Clinton, and have my IMPEACH CLINTON! and an old JAIL TO THE CHIEF! button next to my POWELL IN 92! and POWELL in 96! buttons on the wall next to my bed, I think it's time Clinton turned one of his Secret Service sharpshooters loose on a few unsusecting dogs and their equally unsuspecting owners.

The Rules of Engagement would include any dog or human with more skin than body, like Shar-Pei's and Weight Watchers; dogs or humans that are just "Too Cute", like all Shih-Zu's, some babies and Katy Couric, anything that drools, like bull dogs, some more babies, and all bodhran players; and anything that howels at night, like uncastrated dogs, a few more babies, and any Elvis impersonater. You get the idea...

(You can tell that I just got done with a root canal at the Dentist.)