Frank,
Ignore the feelgood response.
There is a chance, a very slim chance, that it is not too late. First, PUT THE BANJO DOWN. Preferably into a dumpster.
Second, STEP AWAY FROM THE BANJO. Brace yourself. Turn around. Walk away. Do NOT look back.
Third, SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY. You need professional counseling. Your unnatural desire to make yourself the butt of jokes and object of scorn and derision can be treated and a cure is always possible. There is hope.

Russ (the frailer who wishes he had been given such advice 30 years ago. But would he have listened?)

P.S. Should you be unable or unwilling to deal with a lifelong problem at this incipient stage, be warned that banjo playing is NOT for the psychically needy or fragile.