I enjoy beer lots. Five or six years ago the ceilidh band I used to play for were performing at a particularly lively dance, the normal fee was waived, we were to be supplied with beer instead.

I chose to drink the weaker brew. At half-time, when I had drunk 3-4 pints, I mentioned to our fiddler, a musician I hold in very high esteem, that I thought the band sounded really good that night.

He told me I sounded bloody terrible.

I haven't had a drink when performing for reward since.

John