Bare-bottomed Girls
(tune: Queen's Fat-bottomed Girls)

I'm a dirty old man
And I'll look at what I can
So I went down to the women's track meet
Now those ladies were not wimpy
But their running shorts were skimpy
I was shocked at what the audience could see

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

I'm not one to laugh and snicker
At a lady in her knickers
But these running shorts were very hard to see
And there's nothing could be sweeter
Than the ladies' 100 meter
When that woman flashed a vertical smile at me

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Hey listen here
Now I'm getting kind of old
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
When they show the ladies' track meet on TV

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Get on the track and run!

Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.