OHMYGOD......I HAVE IT!!!!!! It's not aliens or any of this other bunk. See how silly we've become? We can't take the tipple seriously can we? And we have reason to believe that Martin built thousands!!! Since no one admits to being a good tipple player, we can only assume the thing is deliberately designed to be played by the psychotics at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed. And who set that place up, who pays the bills there??? A raucous instrument in the hands of an insane player...thousands of them...What if tipple bands were suddenly released upon the unsuspecting populace in every country? The resulting chaos and panic would enable outsiders to takeover!!! Don't you see it friends? IT'S THE C.I.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!They've been pissed over the No Assassination edict and their loss of prestige...this is perfect!!! No need to send in a killing team...Send in a tipple band and the Qaddafis, Husseins, Castros, and their ilk will blow their own brains out!!!! But given that much power, who can say the CIA will then not focus inward...and if the timing is right they can take over this nation to their own ends. They could even declare war on our allies in Canada. Think of it..."O Canada" played by a psychotic tipple band......the entire country might be reduced to a quivering mass of jangled nerve endings and Canadians will be forced to put each other out of misery. And here in the U.S., if Gore is president, the people of his own state will have him killed after hearing "Rocky Top" on tipple. And what if Libby Dole is elected??? Old Bob is so weird that a crazed tipple band playing the Oscar Meyer ditty may cure his E.D. and Ms. Dole will have to resign when Bob spends 11 days running from DuPont Circle to Rock Creek Park in his underwear, screaming "I gotta' Boner...It's a Woody!"
I've got to go and alert the congress...no,the FBI...no,the uh, uh,..............I gotta' get the family out of bed and head for the hills. This could be worse...NO THIS IS WORSE than Y2K. I'll try to help out any of you too...just identify yourselves as Mudcateers.