Three for the price of one

Two woman standing at the the back of a pipe band are discussing whats worn under the nearest drummer's kilt.
One decides to put her hand up to find out. She tries and turns round to her friend and whispers Q What s worn under a Scotsman's kilt?
A Nothing!.......it's all in perfect working order.

Man sufferring from terrible headaches is told by the neuroligist the he has to have a brain transplant, "Not too difficult we have a small selection of brains on the premises" he says and opens a cupboard to show him 3 bottled brains,
"The first one" he says "is $100,000 dollars - belonged to Plato - a great philosepher, the second one is $500,000 - belonged to Albert Einstein the brilliant sceintist, the third one is $1,000,000, It belonged to **insert a well known a/hole's name of your choice**
" Why is **... **'s brain so expensive" the guy says
Neurologist replies " Because it's never been used!"