Listen, I already applied for the job of bodyguard. I have longer hair than Mariah, bigger boobs, and I can sing in about three and a half octaves. (The singing bit is actually a martial art known as "sung fu." Would-be assaulters run off in fear, with fingers jammed into their bleeding ears.) I was (sniff) rejected.

Seriously, just get Big Mick a suit, a diamond earring and some CIA shades, and everything will be fine.

Seriously...no, wait - I mean it this time! Have fun guys! Hope we all get a Mudcat "play-by-play."