OK, Murray, maybe you don't need the words, but I think it would be a good addition to our collection anyway.

Found at Henry's Songbook

OLDEST SWINGER IN TOWN
(Chris Newman / Ed Pickford)

When you score with a chick in a disco bar,
Take her home in your hairy little car,
Then you find you went to school with her Ma and Pa,
You're the oldest swinger in town.

When you won't look in a mirror in the light of day,
Swear you dyed it when your hair turns grey,
When you zip up your Wranglers and your belly's in the way,
You're the oldest swinger in town.

Here you come and there you go:
Wire wheel-spokes and a stereo,
But the engine's clapped, and the driver also
Is the oldest swinger in town.

When your barber takes a little less time each week,
The kids don't understand a word you speak;
When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat,
You're the oldest swinger in town.

You prefer a pint of mild to Bacardi and Coke.
The songs are too loud and there's too much smoke.
You'd like another dance but you're scared you'll have a stroke.
You're the oldest swinger in town.

Here you come with your chest all bare:
A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair,
Like the disco king meets Yogi Bear.
You're the oldest swinger in town.

When you're feeling as stiff as a skinhead's boot,
Rub on Vick where you used to splash Brut,
And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit,
You're the oldest swinger in town.

When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal:
Travolta shades and nine-inch heels,
You say a man is just as old as the woman he feels,
You're the oldest swinger in town.

Here you come with your lips closed tight.
You never smile. You know it wouldn't look right
'Cause your dentures glow in ultra-violet light.
You're the oldest swinger in town

And you look so mean 'cause your pants are too tight.
You're the oldest swinger in town.

And it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.
You're the oldest swinger in town.

(As sung by Fred Wedlock)