1. He was just a lonely tortoise, he was looking for a home,
his little feet were blistered from the many miles he'd roamed,
I met him in a pet shop, on his cheek there was a tear,
and painted on his little shell, was 5 new pence to clear.

Chorus: He's a faithful friend the tortoise, and he'll love you till the end,
and you'll never need a person, with a tortoise as a friend.

2. I took him from that pet shop, he was tied to a piece of string,
he was happy in his freedom, you know I think I heard hi, sing,
I took him to my sports car, we had 20 miles to go,
I tied him to the bumper, he was grateful for the tow.

3. In winter we would hibernate, my friend and I would retire,
and if he ever got too cold, I'd just throw him on the fire,
In summer we would spend our time down by the swimming pool,
I'd throw him in, he often sank, you know I don't think he could swim.

4. Then come that day, as come it may, to creatures great and small,
a drunken driver hit my friend, and he went against the wall,
and all around all I could find were little pieces of shell,
so I made them into plectrums, you know I knew this plectrum well.

Song written by Ed Pickford