Reports are coming in that a replacement bus service, instigated because of an earlier bomb threat on the Dublin-Belfast line outside Newry, has been hijacked.

Two of the passengers - believed to be Liam Reilly of crap Dublin band "Bag Of Hell" and crap musician and crap person generally, Chris de Burgh - were seen to have been led away by masked men before the bus was allowed to continue its journey back to Belfast via Portydown.

A statement from the Popular Front for the Prevention of Shite Music has claimed responsibility for the hijacking and subsequent kidnapping.

It claims that both "musicians" are being well-treated and being subjected to regular exposure to recordings by The Bothy Band, Thin Lizzy, Horslips, Planxty, Stiff Little Fingers, The Undertones and other "credible" Irish acts in an effort to rehabilitate them prior to their release back into society.