Gilbert and Sullivan anyone?

A Policeman's Lot

When a copper's not engaged in his employment
(his employment)
Or a-chasing robbers anywhere he can
(where he can)
His capacity for open-air enjoyment
(air enjoyment)
Is just the same as any other man
(other man)
For a Peeler simply likes to peel his kit off
(peel his kit off)
And to pose for photos fit to grace the Sun*
(grace the Sun)
But the powers that be think this is all a bit off
(all a bit off)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one
(happy one)

When constabulary duty's to be done, (to be done)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one (happy one)

When a calendar's the thing your copper's making
(copper's making)
And he's going to appear most nearly in the nude
(in the nude)
He should be aware of what a risk he's taking
(risk he's taking)
If his bosses think the photographs are crude
(graphs are crude)
You can pose with truncheons, handcuffs, guns or nightstick
(guns or nightsticks)
You can look as though you're really having fun
(having fun)
But you'll be accused of acting just a bit thick
(just a bit thick)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one
(happy one)

When constabulary duty's to be done, (to be done)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one (happy one)

When you're wearing less than when you're going swimmin'
(going swimmin')
Like the policemen from the Austrian town of Graz
(town of Graz)
You impose the photos on some Austrian women
(trian women)
Wearing only skimpy knickers and black bras
(and black bras)
Though the calendar may sell as fast as hotcakes
(fast as hotcakes)
But there hasn't been a lot of thinking done
(thinking done)
It seems that there have been so many mis-takes
(many mis-takes)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one
(happy one)

When constabulary duty's to be done, (to be done)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one (happy one)

Once our aim in life was to become a Cobra
(come a Cobra)
That' a member of the Austrian police elite
(police elite)
But we've now been told we never will get that far
(will get that far)
Now we're back to simply pounding on the beat
(on the beat)
No more guarding pontiffs, princesses and pop stars
(ses and pop stars)
No more jogging with the president on the run
(on the run)
That's what happens posing nearly nude for calendars
(nude for calendars)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one
(happy one)

When constabulary duty's to be done, (to be done)
A nude policeman's lot is not a happy one (happy one)