PLEASE HELP ME I'M CRAWLIN'
(Parody of PLEASE HELP ME I'M FALLIN')
Homer & Jethro

Please help me; I'm crawlin'. She's done it again.
Slammed the door on my fingers when I tried to get in.
She hauled off and kicked out the last tooth I had.
I wish she would quit it before I get mad.

[PIANO INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]
SPOKEN:
HOMER: He ain't no Van Cliburn, is he?
JETHRO: He sounds more like Williams.
HOMER: Roger?
JETHRO: No, Ted.

Go down to the river where the water is nice.
Stick yore head under three times and pull it out twice.
First you wanted to leave me, then you wanted to stay.
Oh, how can I miss you when you won't go away?

Please help me; I'm fallin' fer somebody new.
Anything I wind up with will be better than you.
Go have your face lifted. It needs it, no doubt.
Go to Peter Pan's Beauty Shop before your pan peters out.

See the original PLEASE HELP ME I'M FALLING posted in another thread. –JoeClone, 13-May-2008.