Lord, lord....WHERE HAVE I BEEN????!!!!

Well, I'll tell you where I've been...every year in early February the WSSBA (William Shatner School of BAAAAAD Acting) holds a Shatner immersion course, which lasts up to 2 weeks or until loss of consciousness sets in.

I've been totally immersed in Shatnerology, 24 hours a day! It's like being in another world. The facial expressions! The meaningful looks! The raised eyebrows! The dramatic pauses!

We, the illuminated few, the true Shatner devotees, sit up all day and night viewing selections and entire shows from the original Star Trek TV show and the movies that followed it. "The Trouble With Tribbles" remains a big favourite with many. "Mudd's Women" is a fascinating and deeply revealing treatise on the role of women in interstellar society, worth at least 50 successive viewings in order to appreciate the subtle messages it contains.

Yes, it's been quite a time. Fortunately, one of my agents (they're a bunch of young lads similar to the Baker Street Irregulars...) spotted this thread and alerted me. Duty calls!

I must point out that Spaw is indulging in fantasies of the most extreme sort in suggesting that the show "Catspaw" was named after him! This is so sad. It's terrible what envy can do to people.

William Shatner is simply Soooo sexy and commanding that he causes most other males to feel extremely insecure. And that's to say nothing of his acting ability. There are few men who could even comprehend such an acting technique...let alone master it!

And that, my friends, is why the WSSBA was founded. We have courses that can confer upon you at least an approximation of the sheer animal intensity and the subtle style and sophistication of William Shatner. All that's required is your money...your time...and your complete dedication to the sacred cause of Shatnerology.

Need I say more?

- LH